Nike SB – What The @#$k?
3 years ago I ripped a page out of Libertine Magazine Issue #0. On that page was one of the coolest pairs of Nike shoes I have ever seen, the Nike SB What The Dunk limited edition sneakers. I vowed on that day, that these shoes would one day become part of my collection.
3 hours ago I ripped open the door of my garage to clean out several years worth of worthless shit that has somehow accumulated without my knowledge. At the bottom of decaying cardboard box number 7, I found the aforementioned magazine article. Despite a couple of bouts of moisture damage, the Nike SB What the Dunks looked as marvellous as the day I first laid eyes on them. I decided it was time to undertake some pre-purchase research.
3 minutes ago I completed an intensive Google/ebay session searching high and low for this very unique pair of treads. And believe me, I came across a few very interesting facts about the What the Dunks. For example, did it occur to you from the photograph that the hyperactive use of the various textiles used to create these shoes, is the culmination of many popular Nike sneaker models from years gone by? In fact, from a design perspective, the sneakers are not a matching pair at all, with each shoe having its own personality and charm. Charming indeed!
The most interesting, albeit devastating news about these shoes though, is the current market value. If you’re not sitting down, please take a seat, and make sure that your jaw is situated over a cushioned surface. A new pair of Nike SB What the Dunks are listed on ebay at $1,744.67 (Aussie dollars). I’ll be blunt. Close to 2 grand for a pair of Nikes that don’t even have performance enhancing characteristics (for example, space-age technology allowing you to count the number of steps you do, or don’t make, and record this information into your non-specific portable music player) is fucking ridiculous. One could even argue that since these shoes are made from off-cuts, even scraps, of old stock should make these treads even cheaper than the norm. But no, that’s not the case.
And dammit, I still want a pair.
So herein lies a dilemma people.
Our good friend ebay churned up a pair of irrationally inexpensive size 10 Nike SB What the Dunks, for some reason, hidden in a dusty corner all the way over in China. The price indicates that the authenticity of these shoes is questionable, however the blurry photos of the shoes on ebay look pretty darn close to my mouldy magazine cutout. To purchase these, in lieu of the originals, will result in a saving of $1,673.65, plus postage. **Cough-thank-friggin-god-Cough-Cough**. Ahem. Excuse me, my throat is a little scratchy today.
So now you understand my dilemma. Should I purchase the cheap Chines knock-offs, or the originals? To support the immoral and blatantly illegal practice of producing fake goods in order to support my own selfish and self-indulgent tendencies, or to refrain in order to show my support for a corporate sponge who takes advantage of sweat-shops in undeveloped economies, to save a few measly bucks? Hmmm, it is a really tough call.
Being an international man of mystery, I won’t actually let you in on which decision I ended up making. Soon you’ll see a pair of stunning Nike SB What The Dunks gracing the sidewalk of Fortitude Valley. Regardless of whether they’re authentic or not, owning a pair will be a statement in itself.